Becoming Queen: What Bees Can Teach Us About Self-Care

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Deep inside a beehive, something magical happens—something that speaks not only to nature but also to the nature of us. Among thousands of identical larvae, one will become a queen. Not because she’s born different. Not because of fate or fortune. She becomes queen simply because she is fed royal jelly—a thick, nutrient-rich substance that alters her very biology. It transforms her from ordinary to extraordinary.

She is nurtured into royalty.

And that’s where the metaphor begins to hum—because the truth is, women aren’t born queens either. Most of us are not handed thrones or titles. We don’t emerge with crowns already shining on our heads. Many of us come from broken homes, silenced traumas, and lives shaped by emotional neglect, manipulation, or abuse. We are not always seen, not always heard. We are too often told to shrink, to smile, and to stay quiet.

But here's the truth that cuts through all that noise:

Royalty is not in our blood—it’s in our becoming.

The Myth of "Born This Way"

In a world obsessed with “natural talent,” “inherited strength,” and “born leaders,” the bee tells a different story- one that emphasizes what matters most is what we’re fed—by others and, eventually, by ourselves.

Many of us were not given the emotional royal jelly while growing up. Perhaps we were raised in homes where love was conditional. Maybe our boundaries were never taught, let alone respected. We might have been told our voices were too loud, our dreams too big, and our pain too inconvenient. Abuse, in all its forms—emotional, psychological, physical—strips away our shine and convinces us we are nothing more than worker bees.

But something changes the moment we begin to nourish ourselves differently.

Nurturing the Inner Queen

Healing begins not with a declaration, but with a decision—to no longer believe the lies we’ve been told or the ones we’ve repeated to ourselves. We start to nourish our inner queen when we stop surviving and begin self-nurturing.

That looks like:

• Self-care- not just bubble baths and candles, but saying no, setting boundaries, and letting rest be radical.
• Forgiveness- not for them, but for ourselves—for the years we stayed, for the things we didn’t know, for the love we thought we had to earn.
• Community- where other queens remind us we’re not crazy, not alone, and definitely not too much.
• Speaking our truth- even when our voice trembles. Especially then.

Gradually, we nourish ourselves with what we have lacked. We offer our wounded selves the royal jelly of compassion, strength, and radical self-love. Then something miraculous happens—we transform.

From Wounded to Warrior

You don’t have to come from royalty to become royalty. You just have to be willing to rise, willing to peel back the shame, willing to shed what no longer fits, and willing to shine, even when your light makes others squint.

Because you are not your trauma.
 
You are not the scars or the silence.
You are not defined by what others did to you.

You are defined by what you choose to become.

And like the queen bee, your rise transforms the entire hive. When one woman heals, she also creates space for others to heal. When one woman speaks, she breaks the silence for those who are still afraid. When one woman steps into her power, it sends ripples through the world.

So nurture her—the queen within you. She’s been waiting. Not for a crown. Not for permission. But for you.

And here's the secret: When you begin to treat yourself like royalty—feeding your body with rest, your mind with truth, and your soul with compassion—you don't just heal—you lead.

Others will see you glowing and ask how you did it. They’ll feel the shift and start shifting too. Because when one woman rises, she doesn’t rise alone. She creates a path. A ripple. A revolution.

Let this be your royal jelly.

 You are worthy.

You are powerful.

You are becoming.

 Shine bright. The hive needs you.

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My / Katarzyna Modrzejewska